Advice is sometimes very stupid.
“Just say no!”
“Just say what you think!”
“Be yourself!”
It may be good advice, but it’s too simple.
“Uhm. How often do I have to say ‘no’? To everyone? I am not comfortable doing that.”
“Yeah right. Say what I think and get fired? No thanks!”
“I am me! Who else? Pinocio?”
But giving advice to people you hardly know is hard. Basically you provide people knowledge and perspectives hoping they get mental breakthroughs. Aha moments. Bing!
This advice may sound like “You must do this!” But more likely it is meant as “You can consider this, and see if it is appropriate for your situation”
Although writing in a style that sounds authoritative (“You must do this!”) attracts a larger audience, providing advice that respects the comfort zone of the other is more effective in real life.
What I experienced writing this blog, mentoring people over the internet and providing workshops in general is that you should provide ways for people to stretch their comfort zones. Expand a little. But not blow up completely.
For example, I find it hard sometimes to have a fast paced discussion. I need some time to get my arguments clear. I have practiced and still practice this online. I used to be more comfortable discussing online than in face-to-face arguments. Just because of the time offered to me to think.
This practice improved my overall argumentation skills. I am now comfortable having discussions in all media.
So, always seek your comfort zone, and stretch a little. Doing this every day, will get you a long way.
Always read and consider advice from within your own comfort zone.
In the end, you are the only one who knows you.
Argh. Stupid advice. Again.
Hello Bas,
Your figure on stretching the comfort zone spurred me with the idea of why not stretch and fold the comfort zone. Complex systems are attracted to a basin that we call the strange attractor. Through repeated stretching and folding the strange attractor self-organizes. If the comfort zone is an outcome of simple interactions (rules) may be too it is complex and we are attracted to its basin.I really have never thought about this before till I read your post. Just one of my crazy ideas that is meant to spoil your peace of mind!
I think it’s good advice to always be a little outside your comfort zone. If you’re not taking a risk of failing at something, you’re not moving ahead.
Josh Nankivel
http://pmStudent.com
@Ali: thanks for ruining my piece of mind
I hear what you are saying, and I am trying to wrap my mind around this .. challenging 
@Josh: agreed. But the tipping point between a healthy and unhealthy stretch is different per individual.
Bas,
I must have done some damage! The proof is your response “thanks for ruining my piece of mind”. I have not intended to cut your mind into pieces, but rather get you out of the “mind peace” comfort!
Pingback: About My Big Important Words. // Project Shrink Blog